i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize