If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
