the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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