I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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