Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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