He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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