She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
