if i can run in heels then i can drive
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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