We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
