watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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