well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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