I want to walk on stilts...naked
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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