weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
there is another microwave in the elevator.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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