I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize