Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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