Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
