great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
