No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize