Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
