Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
