listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
