I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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