i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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