I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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