One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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