Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
