He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
