even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
