dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize