Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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