did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
