Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
