put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
