You smell like a Billy Joel song
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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