my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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