Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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