How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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