PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My balls are so social today.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
