im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
