Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
