No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
