So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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