did you get engaged???
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
