I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
