so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize