I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
