Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We had sex on a dog bed..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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