i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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