I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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