I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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