You're my little dorito
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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