Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The struggles of a small town man whore
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
