"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
