i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize