i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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