hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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