I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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