sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I won the penis lottery.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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